Well...That Was Fast...

Boom...no more potential love interest...

No biggie.  About two months ago I took a part-time job that has me working two LONG twelve hours shifts on Saturday and Sunday.  Yeah, I know...a BEATDOWN.

Anyway the guy I mentioned in my July 3 post is my coworker.  It's only the two of us ALL DAY on Sunday.  So when phones aren't busy we talk...and talk...talk.  Definitely have been in that getting to know you stage.

Mostly I've found out what he doesn't like...

Which, turns out, is ALOT of things!

1.  Doesn't like stainless steel appliances, which in itself definitely should not be a deal breaker.  But it's just the ferocity with which he voiced his distain.

"I HATE stainless steel!!  I bet YOU like stainless steel, don't you?"

Uh...yes.

Sorry.

Then he goes on and on about how and why he HATES stainless steel.  It's unattractive (uh it's only been at the top of popularity now for what?  Ten years.  That it's hard to keep clean.  And then tells me that he and his ex redid their kitchen (and I BET with stainless steel) and when she left him he yanked all the new remodel out and REDID the entire kitchen.

Mmmhmmm.

2.  Only watches sports on TV.  Doesn't like ANY other shows, ESPECIALLY not comedy shows.

Oh boy...

3.  Doesn't read.

4.  Doesn't like to do much of anything actually.  "I used to do all that back in my younger days."

5.  Doesn't like debt.  Well, who does?  I made the mistake of telling him that my reason for working a second job was to pay off debt.  "UGH I would HATE to have credit card debt!!  If you can't afford it, don't buy!!  What in the heck did you buy??"

This made me feel about an inch tall.  I have to commend myself on not lashing back at this asshole.  I simply told him that he doesn't know me, doesn't know my situation and that really, I didn't need to explain anything to him.

The truth of the matter is that in my real job I get paid once a month and by the middle of the month I am flat busted.  I lot of times I have used credit cards - SORRY - to pay my electric bill or my cable bill - or buy groceries, etc.  My health insurance premium is low which means I have a HIGH deductible and that I have to pay in full for all doctor's visits and prescriptions.  Not that we go to the dr. all that much but whenever my son or I have to go it's about $200 a pop.  AND my car insurance has majorly increased since my ex bought our son a car.  Very grateful for the car; not so much the big car insurance bill that he can't help on (nor the dr. bills).

6.  Doesn't like...the beach.

EPIC FAIL!!!

Actually another bombastic HATE.  "I HATE the beach.  There's sharks and it's hot and you get all dirty and sweaty and it's boring!"

OK I get the picture...

Oh and "my wife was a beach nut!!"

So in several weeks he has manged to totally turn me OFF.  I mean, I'm not looking for a version of myself with a penis but come on, there has to be some common ground.

Also I am beginning to get deja vous...he's kinda looking like ex hubby 2.0.  Seriously!  It's not just me being hypercritical.  He's very negative about his situation and he's been divorced 20 years!  Of course, EVERYTHING was her fault.  When I was telling him of my situation (Reader's Digest version) he said 'Well couldn't you have given him a second chance?  Didn't you want to work it out?  Oh and he was just incredulous when the conversation came around to the fact that I pulled the plug on the marriage.

"You ended it?" he asked.. In disbelief.

I guess he figured that me, being a middle-aged, graying female was the one dumped.

Nope.

So we have fun at work.  We're cordial for the most part.  He likes to 'kid' like when I have a sincere question, he has an outrageous comeback like it's the dumbest thing he's ever heard.  I can't remember the exact question I very sincerely asked him about procedure but he was like "no, we just do that for the hell of it!"  I mean, gosh, he didn't have to be so condescending.

Oh...and he's a Bible thumper.  Out of the blue he says to me:  "And there's a heaven and a HELL!!  And a lot of people are going to be in real trouble!"

Wow.

It really must be such a burden being SO perfect and having all the answers.

Nope.

STEER CLEAR!!!!

I guess you could say I have learned what I don't in a love interest.  Super great to be in this state of mind, this place in my life where I can honestly say ain't puttin' up with no bullshit - don't have to!!

And actually...I am just great with my own company!

Jumping Back In

I have met someone.  Someone actually in my zip code.  Someone who I actually am kinda attracted to...

And it scares me to death.

He checks a lot of boxes:

He's a couple of years older than me;

Divorced;

6'2" and in fairly good shape;

Funny;

Employed;

Nice looking (beautiful blue eyes);

And he seems to really be attracted to me as well.

Oh boy...

I just went on Facebook and posted an uncharacteristic - personal - post about being ready to jump back in to 'the game'.

Ugh.....why didn't I just post that I bought a box of condoms and was going to go to town?!?!

I hate leading, self serving posts.  The kind that invite questions, that stir up stuff.  And yet...there go I.

Amazing.

I guess I am looking for validation.  Really?  Permission?  Maybe putting it out there that I am actually still thinking of 'getting it on'?

Wait - my kids read my posts.  Better block them...

I have not mentioned meeting T to my kids nor my local friends.  Well, I did mention him to two friends.  And both said the same thing:  'Go for it'  'Have some fun'

I always talk myself out of 'fun'.  Why?  On the online date I went on and now with this guy, I just am afraid of not feeling to the same extent as the guy.  I guess I'm just hesitant because I don't want to disappoint another person.

Or maybe I'm afraid of really feeling something?  And what if my kids don't like him?  See?!  This is what I do to myself!

Just breathe idiot and enjoy whatever comes your way!