Friday, July 3, 2015

Jumping Back In

I have met someone.  Someone actually in my zip code.  Someone who I actually am kinda attracted to...

And it scares me to death.

He checks a lot of boxes:

He's a couple of years older than me;

Divorced;

6'2" and in fairly good shape;

Funny;

Employed;

Nice looking (beautiful blue eyes);

And he seems to really be attracted to me as well.

Oh boy...

I just went on Facebook and posted an uncharacteristic - personal - post about being ready to jump back in to 'the game'.

Ugh.....why didn't I just post that I bought a box of condoms and was going to go to town?!?!

I hate leading, self serving posts.  The kind that invite questions, that stir up stuff.  And yet...there go I.

Amazing.

I guess I am looking for validation.  Really?  Permission?  Maybe putting it out there that I am actually still thinking of 'getting it on'?

Wait - my kids read my posts.  Better block them...

I have not mentioned meeting T to my kids nor my local friends.  Well, I did mention him to two friends.  And both said the same thing:  'Go for it'  'Have some fun'

I always talk myself out of 'fun'.  Why?  On the online date I went on and now with this guy, I just am afraid of not feeling to the same extent as the guy.  I guess I'm just hesitant because I don't want to disappoint another person.

Or maybe I'm afraid of really feeling something?  And what if my kids don't like him?  See?!  This is what I do to myself!

Just breathe idiot and enjoy whatever comes your way!




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