Live Life

I found out quite by accident this evening that someone who was once in my 'inner' circle has suffered a terrible loss. "E" was the long time girlfriend of Former Spouse's best bud "G".  They were a wonderful couple, complimented each other well.  Everyone was just dumbfounded that they were together for so long but then *poof* splitsville.

Both E and G went on to date others.  E even got married.  She was in her forties at the time.  Her choice shocked many...G had always been so dynamic...personable...and good looking.  Her husband really was none of these but seemed pleasant just the same...or so we all thought.

E ended up divorcing her husband for the same reason she had split from G - alcoholism.  His.

Anyway, we saw E in 2008 with her then current boyfriend "T".  I could tell immediately that they were MAGIC together.  E always, ALWAYS, had an effervescent quality about her.  She was just electric.  A megawatt smile.  She glowed especially now beside T.  And T was just a wonderful guy.  He exuded happiness, contentment and confidence. It did our hearts, F.S. and mine, good to see E so terribly happy after several romantic disasters.

Well, tonight I found out that T died...in 2011.

First, I feel terrible we did not know at the time and did not reach out to E.  Secondly, I just feel very, very sad that she lost such a wonderful soulmate.  It looked like she had finally achieved a lasting, loving relationship and then he was tragically taken by illness.

Seems they had married; so that had to have happened since the last time we saw them in 2008.  I am happy for her in that regard.  There is a FB memorial to T with many wonderful pictures, including lots of E with T.  They were committed.  They looked to infinitely happy and joyful together.

I am sure they made the most of every moment they had in their life together. They seemingly had cracked the code.  Found that pleasant balance.

What is the secret?  Why do so many of us just look and look?  I firmly believe that it starts - and ends - with personal happiness, contentment and positivity.  E and T had all those qualities and more.  Like I keep telling my kids, you have got to be happy with yourself FIRST before you can commit yourself to a loving, respectful relationship.  I also think that you just shouldn't try that hard...just BE and see what happens.  We all spend too much time thinking about the way we should be or how our mate should be when really we should just BE...just LIVE life.

Social media is a breeding ground for conjecture.  I like to say Facebook is the world's biggest Christmas letter.  God I hate those letters. Who ever tells the whole truth in those??  Myself included.  Facebook is all about perception.  We all, once again - myself included, put out there words to live by...happy inspiring little slogans.  Be this,be that.  I bet E and T never had to do that because they were all those things anyway...without much trying probably.

So though it is tragic that E lost her love way before his time, they sure did LIVE to the fullest and certainly LOVED to the fullest.

We can all take note...